Toxic Masculinity

                                                              Toxic Masculinity

  I have decided that when you think that you have heard it all, you are just opening up a can of worms for yourself. Every time I use that phrase I discover that indeed, I have not heard it all. Not only have I not heard it all, I am getting tired of what I am hearing.

   The other day I saw an article with the title, “Toxic Masculinity.” I wondered what the heck was “toxic masculinity,” so I clicked. Do you ever wish you could take back a “click?”  Just an innocent thing, see something that spikes your interest, you “click,” and before you know it you are mad as wet hen, sputtering to no one but yourself, because you are at home alone, while your very own “toxic male,” is off working a job that keeps food on the table and the light bill paid.

      I know everybody saw the picture of the young man carrying a woman with a baby clutched to her chest, out of the flood waters of Hurricane Harvey. I did, and it brought tears to my eyes. My thoughts were, “oh what a brave young man!” I just wanted to hug him, make him a batch of cookies and thank him for helping that young mother get her baby to safety! The day I clicked on the headline trying to satisfy my curiosity about “Toxic Masculinity,” this picture came up and emblazoned across the article were the words. “Toxic Masculinity.”

  I didn’t even know this “toxic masculinity,” was a thing. Apparently it is. Apparently it is being written about out in the land of all things weird and odd. You know. The media. Not only is it being written about there are seminars that “men” can go to at very prestigious colleges that teach “men” to not be “toxic.” Apparently the young man that carried the mother and her baby out of harm’s way was a “toxic male”.  My blood pressure would have stayed normal if only I had not “clicked.” If I had not read the comments, I would have saved myself from a near stroke.  I can’t even go there. But I have to share one comment. One commenter said, “the water wasn’t that deep she easily could have walked on her own!” I wanted to scream! Maybe she could, maybe she could not! The water was up to his waist. She looked to weigh about 100 pounds. She was holding a baby! The current was fast I am sure, not to mention dirty water with who only knows what it had in it! Snakes and gators come to mind! That young man was acting like the gentleman that his mama probably raised him to be. The only thing “toxic,” about that picture was the water a brave young gentleman was carrying that little mother through!

   I am surrounded by “toxic males.” Have been all my life. I never knew it was considered “toxic,” to have good manners. It’s a wonder I am not in therapy over it all. When I think of all the doors that have been opened for me! Of all the dirty nasty jobs that I could have done myself, if only my “toxic” male husband had not horned in on them! Like blowing out the sewer lines! Or pulling a dead calf out of the uterus of a cow! He is one sorry “toxic,”male! Not only did I marry a “toxic” male, I raised a couple of them. I taught them to be gentlemen. To do all the things that we women of today are supposed to hate. Things like, opening doors, saying “yes ma’am, no ma’am and thank you ma’am.” “You don’t hit girls!” That phrase came out of my mouth a least one hundred times a day! And to be honest, at times the sisters might have deserved a light tap on the head! They took full advantage of “don’t hit girls,” mantra and reigned havoc on their brothers. Those same girls grew up and married “toxic males!” The oldest has one “toxic male child.” The circle continues!

     Personally I am thankful for all those “toxic males,” out there.  And I just want to give each and every one a big “Thank You!” The first thank you, goes to my husband who has always kept a job, food on the table and a roof over our heads. I want to thank my sons who learned at any early age to respect women and be gentlemen. I am blessed with two son-in-laws that take the responsibility of being providers and protectors seriously. Thank you to all the men who in the past opened doors for me, an overwhelmed young mother carrying a baby, pushing a baby stroller and had another child hanging on my leg having a fit. Thank you to the man in the parking lot long ago that came to my aid when I locked my keys in the pickup. I was an hour from home, it was winter and getting dark and was before cell phones, so I couldn’t call home for help. In a few minutes he had me safely on my way! Most recently I would like to thank the two men that saw me in distress as I accidently let the door of the newspaper dispenser slam shut with my newly knitted winter scarf in it. The scarf was hung just so and was tangled up in the opening mechanism. It was a mess. I had out my pocket knife, the pocket knife that was a Christmas gift from my youngest “toxic male” son in case I needed to cut something and he wasn’t around. I was going to cut it out as best I could. As I was starting operate two gentlemen walked by and asked if they could help. I explained the situation and they were horrified I was going to cut “that pretty,” scarf. They told me to hang on, went and got some tools out of their “toxic manmobile,” aka “pickup.” Came back and in no time had my scarf released with minimal damage and the newspaper dispenser still intact! The day was saved!

    Thank you! All you “toxic males,” out there, that prove though, it may be on the verge of extinction chivalry is not dead yet!

God Bless and Happy Trails!