Snakes, Knitting, Cow Works and Wild Monkeys ( not necessairly in that order)

Now if the title of this post doesn't grab you attention I don't know what will. Honestly the title is way more exciting then my life here of late.

Fall work is in its full splendor. I told DH last night as we were laying there in bed, I was trying to visit, and he was trying not to snore and to keep his eyes from rolling back in his head..that I felt like a loose woman. I went to bed with a man every night and I woke up alone every morning. Of course it is the same man...and we have been married for almost 26 years...just wanted to clear that up, don't want a misunderstanding about that sort of thing for sure.

Poor fella, he has been up at 3:00 am for quite a few mornings. I am not sure that I am even breathing at that time of day. Well this morning I was, I wandered down and we visited till 4:30, he left and I wandered back to bed. And just so you know and don't think I am a bad bad wife..I make him little treats for his breakfast the night before...Yesterday it was lemon poppy seed muffins. Great taste, not so great texture. Gona haft to find a new recipe.

Anyway it was dark before he got home last night. They have to gather the pasture which is huge, then cut off the cows with calves that are too small to wean. Load trucks, drive another 25 miles are so to process the weaned calves, ( process...give shots, castrate the bulls , and brand if need be) . This started at 3:30 yesterday afternoon, they had already been at work for 11 hours. He came rolling down the road at 7:00 pm covered in dust and blood, not his, and very stinky green stuff. Hopefully this day won't be quite as long. Hopefully.

I am learning to knit...well I am trying to learn to knit. We are having a knitting class on the off week of our quilting class. I have decided that since I am a grandmother I need to learn to knit. I think it is the grandmotherly thing to do. I don't know what I equate knitting with grandmothering but I do. And I want to make really cool socks. Have I ever mentioned my obsession with socks? I adore socks. There is nothing quite like a new pair of socks. And I love really weird socks. Thus the second reason I want to learn to knit. I want to be a weird homemade sock wearing grandmother. I have to say that I am thinking I have a long long way to go before I can make socks. Knitting is hard. Knitting makes my brain hurt. But I will keep at it. Yes I will.

Last night I was sitting in my pajamas practicing my knitting while watching the "Waltons". I love the Waltons. I wish I was a Walton. We are on the third season. Yes I own them. Got them at Sams cheap. Well I was knitting away. DH was in the bath. DD was hibernating in her room, it was just youngest DS and I. All of a sudden my wonderful guard dogs started to sound the alarm. It wasn't their usual " woof woof" they were having a fit. We ran to the kitchen door and I heard it...Buzzzzzz Buzzzzzz. I hollered " we have a snake, get me a gun." I rushed out in my pajamas and DH's houseshoes. Sure enough Rambo had a rattler held up against the house. He was barking, his most furious bark , Sugar the Beagle was baying her head off and Sam, DH's Lab was just barking because everyone else was. The thing was I knew where he was but I couldn't see him because he was up against the house where we don't have a light. DS brought me his 4-10 and ran back to get me a flashlight. I swear that kid moves like cold molasses in December. I have about 8 flashlights and the only one that has batteries happened to be up in my bedroom. DS came back and said he could find it cause it was dark up there. I was speechless. There I was in my bedclothes standing in the dark with a loaded shotgun and barking dogs listening to a very mad snake that I was terrified would slither off to parts unknown only to rear his ugly head again and scare the liver out of me when I was least expecting it, and DS could not find the flashlight because it was dark in my room. I was losing my temper, and I felt my mind. I holler at him to turn on the light for Pete's sake. The light comes on and then I see this light shinning through my window. He is sitting up there shinning the flashlight through the window! Why I don't know. I will never know. I came undone. I lost it. I jumped up and down and hollered as loud as I could that he better get that light down to me and he better do it now! I think I scared the snake. I scared the dogs, they ran and got in the dog house. And I could hear DH in the bathtub hollering "what is going on"! DS hollers back, "Oh nothing, Mama is just killing a snake." I hollered , " I am not killing a snake cause I can't see it to kill it."


Finally DS arrives with the flashlight. Now I have the problem of how to shine the light on the snake and shoot it at the same time. DH keeps hollering, " I am coming". Well I didn't need his help thankyouverymuch. By this time I think I could have grabbed it and bite off its head I was so mad. So after a minutes thought I grabbed the flashlight stuck it between my knees, shinning it on the hateful snake. Drew a bead and blasted away. Killed him dead. Knocked some of the stucco off the house and wounded my sage plant. Of course DS is right there giving me all the advice that I will ever need on how to kill a snake, and how to cut off the rattles and was I going to do that cause he really wanted them to add to his collection. Yes I said 'collection' of rattlesnake rattles. He does have one. And here it is......................................................................

This is only a few of the gross things. I hate them and he keeps them in his room in a place of honor...right on his desk.
The biggest one is the one I shot last night. He was a whopper. DS shot one Monday night at the barn, and the windmill man killed one yesterday morning out at our pump house, there were two and one got away in the weeds. Those rascals have been bad here all summer long. I think we have killed 6 in the yard. Six too many for my taste.

Well after the murdering of the wicked snake. Of which DH cut of the rattles, not I, nor did I ever intend too. That is not my job. We tried to settle down for the night. But it was pretty much shot. Pumping adrenalin and all don't ya know. DH was nodding off sitting upright, so at 8:30 we went to bed. Where I promptly fell into what should have been a peaceful slumber. But it was not to be.

I dreamed....dreamt....all night long. Not good dreams but weird dreams. I very rarely remember my dreams but I think this one must have been prophetic.

Here goes...I was out gathering eggs, that would not have been so bad...but in my dream it was 2 am. The middle of the night. I was gathering eggs at 2 am in my nightgown. And it was a desperate situation. I am not sure why, maybe had something to do with world hunger. Well this chicken kept picking my hand every time I tried to get the egg out from under her....thus she was "biting" the hand that fed her. I think this chicken was on welfare, but she wasn't satisfied with what she had, she just wanted more and more, and I being her source of welfare since I am the one that buys her feed, was the one that was being picked clean, to fed this chicken that refused to go and forage for herself like the other hard working chickens. My hand just kept getting bloodier and bloodier and finally I let the old hen have her way...Then I heard this noise and looked up and this wild monkey was stalking me. He jumped down into the chicken pen, I grabbed my bucket and hit him on the head with it. It stunned him enough so that I could get out of the door and latch it behind me. The wild monkey became enraged and started climbing up the fence and just as he came over I make it to the house and locked the door. He ran up on the porch and by this time there were other wild monkeys with him and they just kept running all over the porch trying to get in the doors and windows. Oh and did I mention that they had fleas. Yep they were covered in them.They would try to get in then they would have to stop and scratch. I think they were a picture of Congress. Running hither and yon, trying to scare people into thinking they are oh so powerful and can do what they want. We are the fleas. No matter what they do, we are a thorn in their side , or a flea in their hair, and next election they had better have an interview lined up at the unemployment agency I have a feeling they are all gona need a new job.

That's my take on it anyway. Could have just been to many muffins before bedtime.

God Bless and Happy Trails
RanchWife