RanchWife 101.....How to give a cow CPR.......

I have never shared what it is like to live with bad water. And yes this is going somewhere and is crucial to the story I am about to tell.

Water in this part of the world is either scarce, or is undrinkable. When we first moved to this camp that was a huge drawback. We knew the water was terrible....but that is just something you learn to deal with. We hauled our drinking water, and for years and years, I made many a trip out to the little water trailer and filled my bucket which sat with a dipper on the counter. You did not drink this water. It wouldn't kill you....but it tasted vile and in some cases if you consumed too much..well let me just say this...you didn't need to take a laxative, the water would clean you out pretty good. I know that is to much information..but life is life.

For years when we would go and visit if the kids needed a drink they would creep up to me and ask in a whisper....." Is it OK to drink the water?" and if offered a drink, they would never drink until I said they could. It made for some strange looks, I am sure we were the subject of conversation when we left. You know when you home school your kids, and live out in the sticks, you are considered an oddity anyway. So I would imagine many a conversation was started as to to why I monitored my kids water intake.

One happy day a pipeline came to my house. The ranch had drilled two huge water wells about 10 miles away. They laid miles of water line to drinking tubs for the cattle, and I was very very happy to see that since they were just a few miles from the house they decided to bring in a line. You can not imagine what a wonder this was. We had pressure. So much that it blew all the lines in this old house. Just a minor setback. The first night I took a bath, I was amazed...soap really did lather and I actually felt like my hair was clean. And best of all you could drink it and it was wonderful. I retired my bucket, and DH parked the water trailer out behind the barn.....I argued and argued with him about it though. He wanted to get rid of it. Having been raised more of my life with bad water then not. I know the value of a fine water trailer. And I like being prepared. You just never know when you might have use of such a thing. I did win, and it is still parked there, and we did have to use it a time or two. So there.

With the new water lines new drinking tubs were put in place. Which was much needed. This ranch is huge. And for it's size the water is scarce and the tubs are far between. Not to far off the highway they placed two large tubs. These are made out of large equipment tires. Like a dirt mover or something. They pour cement in the bottom. And since they are made of rubber they last forever. The ranch employees a full time windmiller/water man. When he puts these tubs in he places a wide board across the tub to protect the float. Cattle and especially calves will get in these sometimes when it is hot. And when they do they flounce around and break the float which means that water just starts coming and just runs over the tub. A huge waste of water...which isn't a good thing.

DH has just come from checking the new tubs, and decided that he needed to make a flying trip to the tire shop. DH spends lots and lots of time at the tire shop. On any given day he has at the very least two out of four tires that are leaking and spewing air. He parks by the air compressor and carries these plug thingies around in the glove box. He has even been known to use a screw if he is out of plugs. The tire shop men hate to see him coming. And DH gets really put out if they won't fix his tires. I mean he thinks 12 holes isn't all that much....and that is what they get paid for...and there is still a lot of tread ...... But that is a rabbit trail and another post unto itself.

Where was I ??? Oh yes going to the tire shop. He glanced over at the tub on the way to town, everything looked fine. The tire was patched, a Dr. Pepper purchased at the local Allsups, and we headed back home. Going by the gate where the new tub is all of a sudden DH does a Dukes of Hazzard maneuver and before I know it we are off the highway and headed into the pasture , zooming toward the tub. I asked what on earth he was doing...and he said he thought there was a calf in the tub. Sure enough we could see something black flouncing and splashing around.....but it wasn't a calf it was a full grown very large cow. And she was in a terrible predicament. She had apparently gotten in the tub to cool her tootsies and how it happened will always remain a mystery but she had gotten down in the tub and somehow wallowed under the board that was protecting the float. Now these tubs are about 3 feet high. But she was on her side and couldn't get up . Her head would go under and then she would strain and bring it back up, then it would go under again. She was all but drowned. What to do what to do? Well I did what any Ranchwife worth her salt would do. I jumped out of the pickup. Jumped in the tub. Grabbed her head, pulled it up and tried to hold it up so that she would get some air. She didn't appreciate my attempts to save her life. She attempted to butt me and just be hateful. But I kept a hold and waited to DH to examine the situation. Which he took his sweet time doing, I might add. And I might add that a cows head is very heavy. And that buy now I was sitting flat on my hiney underneath her very heavy head which I was trying to hold up with all my might...and was a tad hard because not only was it very heavy, and she was just being hateful, her whole head was covered with slime. Some from the bottom of the tub, and some from the end of her nose. I didn't even what to think what I was sitting in.

Finally DH made a decision. He would have to unbolt the board from the tub. Then he would pull it off and hopefully we could get her out. That sounded great to me, as I was starting to get a little irritated about the whole situation. DH ambled off. Yes ambled. I hollered and asked him if he only had one gear..that being grandma...but if he did couldn't he please get a little hitch in his get-a-long? DH doesn't get in a hurry about anything. But you would think this would constitute a burst of speed..or at least so I thought.

Finally he returned with his tools and proceeded to dismantle the board, the float and whole thing. I dropped her head and got up and out of the tub. She went under and stayed there. Dumb thing. She was free...get up...get out..But on no. Now we were going to just sull up and drown. I jumped back in grabbed her head and held it up again. DH got a rope tied it on the hitch backed up tied it to her back legs. Got back in the pickup gunned it and pulled her sorry hide right out of the tub. He wasn't all that gentle, she landed with a thud, but didn't seem any worse for wear. Or so we thought.

DH stood there looking at her. And I crawled out of the tub, yet again. By this time I looked and smelled like a swamp monster. And I stood beside him, and we both looked at her. She didn't appear to be breathing. Hummm. Now that just wasn't cool. I mean we had worked hard to save her life and she was just going to be rude and lay there and die. DH locating her heart started pumping it with his foot....oh gosh I hope he wasn't going to make me do mouth to mouth!!!!!!!! Considering he had drug her into a nice fresh cowpie..I am sorry it just wasn't going to happen. When the foot pumping didn't work he said help me turn her over. So he grabbed the front legs and I grabbed the hind legs and we flopped her over on her other side. She made a weird sound, we flopped again..another weird sound and a gasp. We flopped again and she started breathing. She lay there gasping for air, with her eyes rolling around in her sockets. But she wouldn't even try to get up. DH said lets flop her again. And we did. Then he grabbed her by the tail and pulled her up on her back haunches. When around to her front and kicked her in the nose. Now....don't ya go writing me any hate mail about that. Cows are not all that bright and sometimes they need to feel a little discomfort to cooperate. And it worked. First came up her hind end. She just stood there with her behind in the air for a few minutes, and then up came the front end until she was standing. She just sat there swinging her head back and forth looking at us. And we just stood there looking at her. Then she dropped her head blew snot every where bellered and took out after us. DH jumped up on the back of the pickup, I jumped in the door, and she just circled us bellering and bawling and being all mad. Hateful hussy. Cows these days. No appreciation....no appreciation.

She finally tired of trying to murder us and wobbled off to graze. DH made mention of me riding in the back due to my state of being. I glared at him climbed in and sat right beside him all the way home.

And that dear blogger buddies is how to give a cow CPR.

God Bless and Happy Trails

Ranchwife

Next riveting installment of RanchWife 101......Do not help your DH calve heifers in your new house shoes.